No.5 - Gentlemen's Tonic At Selfridges
Time killed: 1 to 2 hours
A shopping trip along Oxford Street invariably ends up with your partner dragging you into Selfridges. As London’s most exclusive department store with everything under one roof, your lady will spend hours trawling racks of Prada, Gucci, Fendi, Moschino, and whatever other designer goodies she can get her French-manicured hands on. Instead of acting like a 10 year old and throwing a temper tantrum, why not surprise her by acting calm and telling her that she can take all the time she needs -- as long as you’re allowed to wander off unaccompanied into a mancutuary on Oxford Street. If she agrees (and let’s face it, if it means she gets more alone time with the credit card, she’s not going to argue), then board the escalator and make your way up to the manctuary on the first floor. A dedicated grooming salon for the male species, Gentlemen’s Tonic (next to Ralph Lauren) comprises four treatment rooms and was founded by ex-City broker Olivier Bonnefoy -- a clever move to cash in on the burgeoning men’s grooming market. Here men can enjoy a range of treatments, including a wet shave, hair cut, facial, and back wax. Our favorite treatment, however, is the Hemingway: a Bloody Mary, aromatherapy facial and massage for $225. Hey, if she can spoil herself, why can't you?
No.4 - Peter Stringfellow's Angels
Time killed: 2 to 4 hours
As the oldest swinger in London, you can trust legendary lothario Peter Stringfellow to run a successful strip club. His latest venture, Peter Stringfellow’s Angels, is just that: a glamorous venue in the heart of Oxford Street/Soho with countless bars and private booths. OK, so your lady might not be entirely comfortable with you going to see a stripper while she shops, but what she doesn’t know can’t hurt her, can it? Inside you’ll find 50 beautiful women waiting to cater to your every whim as they sidle up and down silver poles. As long as it’s not your pole, what’s the harm in it? The racy action is spread over three decadent floors, with six stages and a full-serve restaurant. Admission to this manctuary may be pricey, but it’s open until 4:30 a.m., meaning your lady can literally shop till she drops.
No.3 - Ripley's Believe It Or Not!
Time killed: 1 to 2 hours
Although it’s a five minute walk from Oxford Street (its actual address is Piccadilly Circus), Ripley’s Believe It Or Not! is the perfect excuse to escape your spendaholic lady and enjoy peace away from the frenzied, frenetic world of clothing racks. Here you’ll find everything you need to put a smile on your face, with over 800 authentic, original and plain unbelievable exhibits, from a Mini Cooper encrusted with a million Swarovski crystals to a model of Tower Bridge made entirely out of matchsticks. With the weird and wacky at every turn, this is a must-see manctuary for all boys who love their toys.
Time killed: 30 minutes to 2 hours
No.2 - Nike Town
Time killed: 30 minutes to 1 hour
Shops may not be our favorite places, but every so often we stumble across a clothing store that doubles as a manctuary. Such is the case with Nike Town, Oxford Street’s most man-friendly location. Dump your lady at TopShop next door and head up the escalators to find a world of male-orientated sportswear, from too-cool-for-school tracksuits to Nike branded basketballs and accessories. Even the music is good here, with the crappy elevator music of female stores replaced with pumping hip-hop and smooth R&B, as well as plasma screens showing footage from all our favorite games. There’s even a section in here called Nike iD Studio that’ll allow you to customize your own sneakers with the help of an on-site shoe artist. Hell, Nike Town would make even those most opposed to shopping want to whip out the plastic and splurge.
No.1 - London Trocadero
Time killed: 30 minutes to 2 hours
It’s usually our girlfriends, wives or significant others who frown on us for acting like big kids, so go ahead and use the opportunity to leave them behind and head into the London Tracadero -- a big playpen, but for adults as well as kids. Located just off Oxford Street at Piccadilly Circus, the London Trocadero has more than enough entertainment value to keep your mind off how much your lady is punishing you by punishing your credit card. There’s a CineWorld cinema complex, novelty shops, ice cream vendors and Funland, which spans a massive area filled with arcade machines, high-tech video games, virtual reality simulators, a bowling alley, dodgems, a billiards lounge, and two fully licensed bars stocked with the best alcohol money can buy. If this isn’t a manctuary, we don’t know what is.
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